I joined my father for our usual dinner catch-up sessions. Well, you know, more like me analyzing my food as he talks to me. You see, our relationship has never been an ideal one. But the unconditional love is understood.

He starts telling me about a construction site and piles and piles of gravel and how it’s never fun to look at gravel when you look at a building being built because I mean.. who does? And it takes months and months for them to finally get the gravel out of the way and start building the building they were planning on.

Then he said, well, that’s kind of what you’re going to be going through the next couple of months. Nobody likes the beginning, and it’s not fun at all because you don’t even know what the future is going to look like. But you need a strong foundation and the foundation takes time. And it’s going to be hard but that’s how it was like for me during medical school. Things only got fun during clerkship years. This too shall pass in like six-seven months….And, sometimes you need to read the textbook not once but twice, and that’s ok.



God.  I needed to hear that so badly.








I always found writing to be my escape and I never thought I would say that. I never liked writing growing up, probably because I wasn’t good at it. Well, my best friend who majored in English said that like everything in life it’s something you have to practice and do it everyday.

And I think thats what we tend to forget. Practice makes perfect. Grit. You can essentially do anything if you put in the time and effort into it. Ha, so my point is actually pointing back to the fact that I feel this very thing right now. About CRNA school. They weren’t lying. I already feel the depression looming in as I exchange my free time with pages on gas laws, pharmacokinetics, and membrane potentials. The FOMO is real.

Here I am – stuffy nose, head, and hacking cough the night before my first anesthesia school exam. First pharm exam (on hormones, diuretics, pharmacodynamics/pharmacokinetics, and COPD& asthma). My cortisol level has to be at least 150mg (stress response). Normal secretion per day is 20-30mg. Please let be a test question.


Here’s more on cortisol. So, it is secreted by the adrenal glands and it is primarily responsible for your stress response.


  • Increases gluconeogenesis, inhibition of glucose uptake — fancy way of saying helps your body make sugar!
  • Breaks down protein –to mobilize to the liver to make sugar
    • In excess can cause muscle wasting. So, don’t stress or you’re going to lose all your gains!
  • Mobilizes fatty acid – used for energy and metabolism
  • Has anti-inflammatory effects
  • May help cardiac function and improve blood pressure
    • Increases number or responsiveness of β-adrenergic receptors.
    • Promotes normal responsiveness of arterioles to catecholamines (norepinephrine, epinephrine)
  •  Inhibits bone formation
    • Can lead to fractures 😦


Ciao for now! And wish me luck …