california dreaming

The Inner Me

Here we are, all alone in this one bedroom apartment in La Jolla, California. Can I just read that again?

Slept in, woke up on my beautiful green amazon couch. Did morning yoga with the cool breeze blowing over me near my floor to ceiling balcony window. This was only a dream, years and years ago and I think I have finally learned to love myself more to pull away from at it all and really look into myself. Completely isolated from my friends and family, and the comfort of NYC.

It’s been amazing living here. I love living alone, doing things on my own time, being busy because I want to be. Working on being the best version of myself. I forgave my past, and have come to accept it as a lesson to keep going. When times get tough, take it from me and my therapist in that allow yourself to feel it. Allow those tears and allow the distraction of positivity. Allow yourself to just be. Easier said than done when the stinging feeling of anxiety and panic washes over you like cold shower of fear. Where did it all come from? The estrangement of our parents living in a foreign world, trying to adapt yet trying to foster relationships with us while maintaining three full time jobs.

Everything has a reason.

Follow the journey of finding the inner me. And being okay with it. Being grounded and blooming at the same time. Letting the light of Allah and self-meditation from my inner voice guide me.

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